Elliot My Everything
by ilysvu
Summary: Olivia is falling for Elliot. E/O. Rated M for later chapeters
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns everything. Bummer.**

**Chapter in Olivia's POV.**

I watch as Elliot fills in a DD5 from today's case. His eyebrows are wrinkled in deep concentration, a look that makes me silently laugh. He has been divorced from Kathy for about two months now, but the time is dragging slower and slower. When will it be okay for me to tell him how I feel about him? Never. I can't do that to him, no way. He's my best friend, and I would feel like I was an intruder on his kids. No, I could never do that. But when Cragen introduced me to him, I fell in love. I guess you could call it a case of love at first sight, but I'm not even sure if I believe in that. But he's been my partner for like five years, so yeah, you could say I am in love with Elliot Stabler.

I don't even notice that I am still staring at him lost in thought until he looks up.

"Liv, can I help you with something?" He laughs. I grab a pencil and throw it at him, and even though it hits him, he doesn't take the smirk off his face.

"No, you cannot. I was just noticing how much hair you've lost since I met you." I crack back.

"Well, you've only gotten hotter, partner." He replies with his famous shit-eating grin plastered on his face. Hotter? No way, but I like the compliment, especially from him. He's such a little kid sometimes.

"Now I will proceed to sue you for sexual harassment, please excuse me." I can't help but laugh.

"Liv, you're ridiculous." Why does he have to be so damn cute? Flirting with my partner is so much easier now that he isn't married.

I wink at him, and pretend to busy myself with paperwork. But really, I am trying to figure out how to go to dinner with him without it sounding like a date. I feel like such a teenager when I'm around him. He can never know that. Never.

At five o'clock, Cragen tells us to hit the road. Elliot and I always walk out together, and he picked me up this morning, so naturally he would have to take me home.

"El, you want to go get a drink?" Okay, that sounded dumb. Way to go Olivia.

"You paying?" He asks, although I know he's kidding, "yeah, sure. Where?"

"Maloney's"

We take our usual seat at the booth farthest from the door.

"So, how were Lizzie and Dickey's conferences?" I ask while taking a drink of my Corona.

"Good, actually, Kathy didn't show, but I never really expected that of her." He replied. I could tell that he was upset that Kathy didn't even have the decency to show up for her kids.

"Huh. Well, at least they have someone like you to take care of them." Kathy ran off with a rich lawyer and left the kids with him. I can't help but feel like I had something to do with it. She once accused me of sleeping with her husband. Hah, I wish.

"Yeah, you ready?" He asked while finishing his beer.

"Sure."

He laid money on the table for the drinks and we left. His phone rings when we get to the car,

"Stabler," I love when he answers his phone like that. Something about how he says it drives me insane.

"Hey darling…yeah, I'm with Olivia, we just left work…yeah…sure….I'll ask her…okay sweetheart…love you too, bye." He closes his phone and puts it back in the cup holder that's between us.

"Ask me what?" I ask wondering who was on the phone, although I'm sure it was Kathleen.

"Kathleen wants to know if you will come over so she can see you. I know you haven't seen her in a while and…."

"I'd love to."

I enjoy going over to the Stabler house to see the kids. I haven't been able to recently, because Kathy had her accusations about me and I figured it would be better if I just stayed away.

Kathleen was waiting outside for us, and when we pulled up, she ran to my side of the car.

"Liv, oh my god, I haven't seen you in forever." She grabbed me into a tight hug. She was like a daughter to me, and recently, she's been calling me with questions that she would have normally talked to her mother about.

"Hi sweetie, it's so good to see you!"

We walked up to the house, and were greeted by Dickey and Lizzie. Maureen is away at school, but I frequently talk to her on the phone.

"Hi guys." I smile as the twins hug me.

Elliot and I grabbed beers out of the fridge, and we all sat around and took turns playing Rockband. Elliot is horrible at this game, I just found out, while Dickey is the king of the drums. Kathleen and Lizzie sang, and I played guitar. Elliot was our personal cheerleader. It was about eleven, and the twins went to bed, and Elliot, Kathleen and I sat in the living room and just chatted.

"So, are you and dad going to like, date?" Kathleen asked me with eager eyes.

"Ha, Kath, you'll have to ask him." I said with a wink. Elliot, had having a few beers, jumped on top of me and pretended to kiss me.

"Ah, El. Stop, Kathleen help me." I laughed as Elliot was attacking me.

Kathleen was crying because she was laughing so hard, and I finally flipped Elliot over, and grabbed my cuffs of the back of my pants and cuffed him. I hadn't taken my belt off, but my gun was safely on the table, along with my badge.

"Awhh, now that isn't fair. You're holding me without reason. I want a lawyer."

"Excuse me, you assaulted a police officer." I laugh,

"Damn, Kath looks like our perp lawyer-ed up."

We chat for a few more hours, and then Kathleen heads off to bed. I un-cuff Elliot, and grab my jacket. I turn to leave when Elliot grabs my arm,

"Liv, we've been drinking, and you don't have a car. Maybe you should stay."

"You're right, thanks El."

He brings me a pair of NYPD shorts and an over-sized undershirt of his, and I sit down on the couch. He sits down next to me, and I hear him take a deep breath.

"El, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, It's just…well, Liv….I like you….a lot." I swear that my jaw hit the floor.

"I never…thought that I would here that from you. Elliot, I like you too. I've liked you from day one. I mean, it sounds stupid, but I think I'm falling in love with you."

"You're so beautiful." When he says that, I feel a single tear stream down my face. Not even my own mother cared about me, and Elliot has been my everything, my best friend, my love, my life.

He wipes the tear away with his thumb, and holds my face in his hands. I stare into his blue eyes, and I can't believe this is happening….to me.

He leans in and presses his warm lips to mine, and my entire body melts. I bring my hands up to his face, as he wraps his in my hair. The kiss seems like it lasts an eternity, but he reluctantly pulls away.

"Wow." Is all I can say. I was speechless, amazed.

"Finally…." We hear the whisper and both our heads whip towards the voice. Kathleen stands there with a grin on her face.

Elliot and I laugh, not able to think of anything else to do.

"So, are you love birds ready for bed? Because I'm tired, and I don't want to miss anything else."

"Goodnight Kathleen." Elliot says with a slight chuckle.

"Night Dad, Liv." She walks back into her room and shuts the door.

I turn back to Elliot, who is now standing.

"Well, I'm not going to make you sleep on this wooden couch, why don't you sleep in my bed."

"Fine, but don't try anything funny, Stabler." I laugh.

With a shit-eating grin on his face, he replies,

"No worries, Benson."

We walk back to his bedroom, and he takes off his shirt. I crawl into his bed, and he gets in next to me. He kisses my forehead, before rolling over.

"Night Liv."

"Night El."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em.**

I woke up with a pounding headache. I guess I had too much to drink last night, but it was still a great night. Elliot's arm is still wrapped around me, and my head is buried in his chest, such an incredible feeling. He must've sensed that I was awake, because his arm tightened around my waist, and a small smile crept on his face. I softly kissed him, and he opened his eyes,

"Mmm, good morning to you, too beautiful."

"Sleep well?" I ask with a cocky smirk on my face.

"Yeah, actually I did. I got good news last night."

"And that would be?"

"That the woman I am in love with feels the same about me. " He said with a cheesy grin.

"Oh, and who might this lucky lady be?" With that, he rolled on top of me and pulled me into a bruising kiss. This one was much different than last nights. This was not tentative or hesitant, but passionate and loving. He caressed my lips with his, and traced my lips with his tongue, asking for entry. I gladly accepted, and our tongues fought for dominancy.

"Does that answer your question Detective?"

"Why, I believe so, Stabler."

"Do you smell that?" Elliot asked while sniffing the air.

"Coffee." We both jump out of bed and run into the kitchen. Kathleen was slaving over the stove, and as we suspected, the coffee was brewing.

"Kathleen? What are you doing sweetie?" She looked like she was making pancakes. If she cooks anything like her father, we're in good hands. That's right everyone, Elliot Stabler can COOK.

"Well, I thought I would make you two love birds breakfast. I made pancakes, sausage, bacon, and hash browns. Biscuits are in the oven." She said with a smile of accomplishment.

"Good god, thank you but you didn't have to do all of _that" _I say while nodding towards the buffet spread out on the table.

"Well, it was the least I could do. Liv, I am so glad that dad finally grew the balls to tell you he loved you."

El just blushed, and it made me laugh.

"Well, how about I repay you by taking you on a shopping trip today; I need a new dress for the NYPD Christmas Ball."

"Liv, that's like a month away, why do you need a dress now?"

"Ugh," Kathleen and I said in unison.

"What! " Elliot defensively threw his hands up in the air.

"It takes us a little more time to prepare. We can't just throw on whatever's clean and expect to look good. It doesn't work like that dad." Kathleen said with a roll of her eyes.

"El, where's Dickey and Lizzie?" I ask while looking around the room.

"Oh, they left for some week-long camp or something with my sister."

"Oh, well, Kath, what do you say we clean up this mess and get ready to leave huh?"

"Yeah, thanks Liv."

We get dressed and head off to the store, and Kathleen breaks the silence,

"So, you know, my dad has loved you for a long time. All my mom and dad did was fight. And I love my mom, but I love you too. You're like my second mother."

"Aw, thanks Kath. I love you too, like a daughter." Hearing Kathleen say that brought tears to my eyes, I knew the Stabler kids were somewhat fond of me, but not that much. We pulled up to the boutique, and walked inside.  
"Oh my god, Liv, look at that dress." It was red, and went to my knees. It was strapless, but other than that, simple.

"It's beautiful." I had to admit, I looked damn sexy in it.

"That dress will knock my dad on his ass." Kathleen looked at me to see how I would react to her language. I had never heard her curse before, not that I cared really, after all, she was seventeen. And believe me; I was saying worse at twelve.

"Ha, it better, it's expensive."

I let Kathleen pick out a dress for the dance, and we went to check out. We went to a few other stores, and got a few more things, and then we headed home…or Elliot's house rather. But I had a feeling I would be spending a lot of time there. When we walked in, I was greeted by a kiss on the forehead, and a smile,

"Hello ladies. How did it go?"

"Great, Liv, go try on your dress, and I'll try on mine."

"Kay, El we'll be right back."

"Wait, Liv you mean I can't help you get dressed?" Elliot smirked. I felt my face turn eight shades of red, while Kathleen just laughed as she continued to walk to her room.

"Ha, in your dreams." I called over my shoulder as I followed Kathleen. She needed me to help zip her dress, as I needed her to help me with mine.

"Wow," Elliot stared in shock when we returned;" you guys look great." Kathleen's dress was a light blue with studded straps, and a bow around the waist. We twirled around a few times, and then went back to take them off.

Later that night, Kathleen left with a friend to go to a birthday party, so El and I were by ourselves.

"Want something for dinner?" Elliot asked me, I have to admit, I was hungry.

"Uh, Yeah. Thanks."

He called the Chinese place down the street, and returned to the sofa. He flipped through the channels for a few minutes before the delivery man came to the door. He got up, paid, and came back to the sofa.

"So," I say, starting a conversation, "do you have a date to the NYPD dinner?" I ask, knowing the answer. He has always taken Kathy, and well now, because she's out of the picture, I am curious. I usually went with Alex because neither she nor I had dates, so we just rode together. Fin always had a different girl, as well as Munch. Casey went with Don every year.

"No, do you?" What an idiot. He knew better.

"Yeah right, Stabler. You know me better than that."

"You want to go with me?" Finally, that is what I was getting at. Of course I wanted to go with him.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

We chatted about everything from work to Yankee's games. Knowing we both had work tomorrow, he drove me to my apartment.

"Night, Livvy. Pick you up at 7?"

"Yeah, bring coffee. Night El."

He kissed my cheek and I got out. He always makes me flick my lights when I get to my apartment so he knows I'm alright. I like to stress him out a little so sometimes I don't, and he comes up with his gun drawn. It's pretty funny if you ask me. It's nice to know he cares about me though. No one ever has before, well unless you can consider Don. He is like the father I never had. And well, Casey and Alex are my best friends, but that's different. Munch and Fin are like my big brothers, but no one has ever cared about me like my partner/best friend/in-my-dreams-lover has. And for that, I am grateful. I put on a NYPD sweat set, and turn on my iPod dock. The first song gets me to thinking about Elliot.

_  
__I'll be your dream__  
__I'll be your wish__  
__I'll be your fantasy__  
__I'll be your hope__  
__I'll be your love__  
__Be everything that you need__  
__I'll love you more with every breath__  
__Truly, madly, deeply do__  
__I will be strong I will be faithful__  
__'cause I'm counting on you_

_A new beginning__  
__A reason for living__  
__A deeper meaning__  
__I want to stand with you a mountain__  
__I want to bathe with you in the sea__  
__I want to lay like this forever__  
__Until the sky falls down on me_

_And when the stars are shining brightly in the__velvet sky__  
__I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry__  
__The tears of joy for all the certainty__  
__That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of_

_The highest powers__  
__In lonely hours__  
__The tears devour you_

_I want to stand with you a mountain__  
__I want to bathe with you in the sea__  
__I want to lay like this forever__  
__Until the sky falls down on me_

_Oh can you see it baby?__  
__You don't have to close your eyes__  
__'cause it's standing right here before you__  
__All that you need will surely come_

_I'll be your dream__  
__I'll be your wish__  
__I'll be your fantasy__  
__I'll be your hope__  
__I'll be your love__  
__Be everything that you need__  
__I'll love you more with every breath__  
__Truly, madly, deeply do_

_I want to stand with you a mountain__  
__I want to bathe with you in the sea__  
__I want to lay like this forever__  
__Until the sky falls down on me_

The song brings tears to my eyes. I want to be with him, I want him to hold me. I need him; I need him to be with me. I start thinking about my childhood, about my mother, and my rapist father, the one I never knew. I start thinking about how my mom loved Jack Daniel's more than me. I get up, and walk to the kitchen. I stand on my tippy-toes to reach the bottle of Jack Daniel's. When I drink from this, I feel like a hypocrite. I feel like I will become my mother. However, I have people around me that care that will get me out of any mess I manage to get in. I get my favorite glass from the cabinet, and pour my first one. I swirl it around a few times before downing it. And then another, and another. By now I am bawling. I can't hold it in. I badly need him. His kiss began an addiction to him. I could always control my impulses, but not now. He opened a door that he cannot shut. Even though we have to work, even though we have to get up, and even though it's now one in the morning, I consider calling him. The next song on my shuffle list makes up my decision…

_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor__  
__Reachin' for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore__  
__And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind__  
__For me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now__  
__Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now__  
__And I don't know how I can do without__  
__I just need you now_

_Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door__  
__Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before__  
__And I wonder if I ever cross your mind__  
__To me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now__  
__Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now__  
__And I don't know how I can do without__  
__I just need you now_

_Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all_

_It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now_

_And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

_I just need you now_

_Ooo, baby, I need you now_

"Mmm, Stabler." He answers, still half asleep. I attempt to reply, but I only sob.

"Oh, god Livvy, what's wrong?" I hear the concern grow in his voice. He is probably thinking a million and one things now.

"I…I…oh god…I need you El. I need you to hold m…m…meee. Please." I couldn't have sounded more pathetic, but my entire life was catching up to me, and he was the only one who could save me.

"Baby, I'm on my way. Stay put. Liv, I love you, please, don't go anywhere."

Baby? I love you? All these things come at me at once. My head is spinning, and I pour myself another glass of whiskey.

"Please hurry, El. I need you now."

He loves me? He truly _loves_ me? No, he must've just been saying that because of the situation. I can't get my hopes up. I've done that all of my life. I always get my hopes up, and I get my heart broken. Since the day I was born, I have avoided setting myself up for heartbreak, but I always fall in. I always do it to myself, so I didn't want to believe he meant that he loved me. There was just no way. My though processes were interrupted by the front door opening.

**Songs: **

**I Wanna Stand With You (Truly, Madly, Deeply) – Savage Garden**

**I Need You Now- Lady Antebellum**

**New chapter coming soon. PleasePleasePlease, Press the pretty green button below this. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own them (although, I will someday.) **

**Woot! New Episode tonight (11/11/09) on NBC 9/8c!**

"Liv, sweetie, what's wrong?" Elliot ran over to sit next to me. I couldn't answer him, I was too upset.

"Ssshhh, its okay, its okay Livvy." He cradles me in his arms. A place I have longed to be for so long, I feel safe. He takes the empty glass from my hand, and places it on the table above us.

"I'm so s-s-sorry." I sob into his chest. I can't help it. I love him so much, and it's overwhelming. This entire week has been overwhelming. The case, the anniversary of my mother's death, Elliot, everything. It's all catching up to me, and he is the one person that I am comfortable with.

"You don't have to be sorry, what's wrong?" He asks, I know he's worried, but I can't find words. I can't find anything to say that will justify dragging him out here at nearly two in the morning.

"I'm so afraid. I'm lonely. This week has been so overwhelming. I love you so much, El. You have no idea."

"Livvy, look at me," He takes my chin in his hand and raises my face to look at him. Tears stain his face.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because, Liv, I love you. To see you hurt breaks my heart. To know you are hurting inside hurts me. Livvy, I love you. I've loved you for all ten years of our partnership."

He saying this causes me to break down all over again. How does he have this effect on me? Crying like this isn't like me. I'm supposed to be thick-skinned and hard-headed. That's how it always was growing up.

"I love you too, El."

I curl up onto his lap, and he kisses my head. His warmth and soothing words cause me to drift off into a peaceful abyss.

* * *

I wake up some time later in my bed, with no recollection of how I got there. Elliot is asleep beside me, with his arm draped over my waist. I have dreamed of waking up like this, and my dream has come true. I don't remember much of last night, but I do remember him telling me he loved me. My heart flutters, and my sadness has seemed to have left me. I trace the shape of his facial features with my eyes, and smile. He's perfect. I reach up and caress his soft face in my hand. He stirs, and opens his eyes.

"Good morning, Beautiful, feel better?" He asks smiling.

"I do, thank you, for everything."

"You're welcome. You know, we don't _have_ to work today. I could call Cragen."

"I think I'd like that."

Elliot grabbed his cell.

"Hi Cap, look, Livvy's having a little trouble today, I think I'll stay with her….yeah, the case probably…..ok, tell them we say thanks….sure….thanks Cap."

"All settled?" I ask, knowing our boss would do anything for either of us. We are the kids he never had.

"Yep. Looks like we have the day off. What do you wanna do?" There are so many things I want to do with him.

"Will you hold me?" I ask sheepishly. I feel so vulnerable, and I don't want to feel like a sissy, but I want to be in his arm.

"Forever," was all he said before he leant down to kiss me. All of the pain, all of the fear left me as I kissed him. I pushed my body to his, deepening the kiss. He twirled and tangled his fingers in my hair and I wrapped my hands around his neck. It seemed like an eternity before he pulled back for oxygen.

"I love you, baby." His words melted my heart, and all of my previous emotions came rushing back.

"I love you, too." I started to cry. He kissed away each and every of my tears before he spoke.

"Baby, don't cry. Please don't cry" As tears welled up in his eyes, my heart broke. I didn't want to do this to him, I loved him.

"I'm sorry. I just, well…no one has ever said that to me. No one except you, and it feels…nice."

"I love you, I love you, I love you, Liv. I'll love you forever. Please just don't cry."

I rest my head on his bare chest, and listen to his heartbeat. He runs his fingers through my hair and begins to sing the song that is playing on my iPod,

_Every Time Our Eyes Meet,  
There Is A Feelin Inside Me  
It's Almost More Than I Can Take  
Baby When You Touch Me  
I Can Feel How Much You Love Me  
And It Just Blows Me Away  
I've Never Been This Close To Anyone  
Or Anything  
I Can Hear your Thoughts, I Can See Your Dreams_

I Dunno How You Do What You Do  
I'm So In Love With You  
It Just Keeps Getting Better  
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My life  
With You By My Side  
For Ever and Ever  
Every Little Thing That You Do  
Baby I'm Amazed By You

The Smell Of Your Skin  
The Taste of your kiss  
The Way You Whisper In The Dark  
You're Hair All Around Me  
Baby You Surround Me  
You Touch Every Place In My Heart  
Oh..It Feels Like The First Time, Every Time  
I Wanna Spend The Whole Night..In Your Hands

I Dunno How You Do What You Do  
I'm So In Love With You  
It Just Keeps Getting Better  
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My life  
With You By My Side  
For Ever and Ever  
Every Little Thing That You Do  
Baby I'm Amazed By You

Every Little Thing That You Do  
I'm So In Love With You  
And It Just Keeps Getting Better  
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My Life  
With You By My Side  
For Ever And Ever  
Every Little Thing That You Do  
Every Little Thing That You Do

_  
_We end the song in unison,

_  
"Baby I'm Amazed By You…"_

"I love you Livvy."

"I love you, El."

* * *

**Six Weeks Later**

"I'm coming, I'm coming" I yell when I hear Kathleen at my door.

"Hi, Liv. I brought lunch."

"Thanks Kat. You can set it over on the counter, but first, let's figure out what I'm doing with my hair for tonight, where's Dickey and Lizzie?"

"Oh, they didn't want to go. They have some party to go to."

"Okay."

"I am so glad you grew out your hair. We have more of an option." I was skeptical to grow out my hair at first, but I kind of like it now.

We play around with each other's hair for a while before we eat lunch. We get dressed, and meet Elliot downstairs. NYPD balls were pretty fun, because I get to just hang out with my co-workers, instead of find dead bodies with them. All in all, it's a pretty good time.

"Well, look at my two gorgeous dates." Elliot, in a black suit, black shirt, and a red tie, that compliments my dress, smiles.

"Thank you, you don't look bad yourself." I reply as I get in the front seat. He leans over and kisses me, which earns a whistle from Kathleen.

"Look, now I have to re-apply my lipstick." I say jokingly.

"Wait, before you do that," He kisses me again, this time deeper, and longer.

"Love you, Livvy."

"Love you too, El, now drive."

"Yes, m a'am." I slap him in the arm, and he starts driving.

We pull up to the dance hall, and Elliot gives the keys to valet. We hook arms, and he holds Kathleen's hand. We enter the lobby, and the secretary shows us down the hall to the room. Since Elliot and I established our relationship a month ago, no one was surprised to see his arm around my waist.

"Hey, lovebirds."

"Shut up, Munch." We both reply, and then laugh.

"What? We all knew this was _bound_ to happen."

Elliot pulls a chair out for me and he sits across from me. I intertwine my legs in his, not able to be without his touch for very long. It's not too long before Casey, Alex, Don, and Fin show up. Don turns to talk to us,

"So, I talked to the commission about your partnership and relationship."

We were curious as to whether we would be allowed as partners because of our new found relationship.

"And?" Elliot asks, I can tell he is as anxious as I am.

"They said it was my call. I think you too are great detectives, and work well. So I will allow it, until it gets in the way of your job."

"Damn, Liv. Looks like Captain's desk is out of the question."

"ELLIOT!" I feel my face turn eight shades of red, matching my dress.

"There will be NO hanky-panky on my desk, your desk, the interrogation rooms, lock-up, or the cribs for that matter. Understood?" Don cracked a small smile.

"Not unless I'm there to watch." Munch yelled from down the table.

"Shut up, Munch." Everyone replies in unison. We hadn't realized that the rest of the squad was listening to our conversation.

"No worries, Captain." I turn back to Don.

"Good, with that solved, let's dance."

Don leads Casey out on the floor, followed by Fin and Munch with their dates, Melinda, Alex, Kathleen and George stayed at the table, chatting about something I can't quite make out.

"Ready, Baby?"

We walk out to the floor, and a slow song starts.

_These times are troubled and these times are good__  
__And they're always gonna be, they rise and they fall__  
__We take 'em all the way that we should__  
__Together you and me forsaking them all__  
__Deep in the night and by the light of day__  
__It always looks the same, true love always does__  
__And here by your side, or a million miles away__  
__Nothin's ever gonna change the way that I feel,__  
__The way it is, is the way that it was_

"I love you, Livia." He whispers in my ear.

"I love you too, El." I rest my head on his shoulder.

__

_When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time__  
__Be faithful and true, devoted to you__  
__That's what I had in mind when I said I do___

_Well this old world keeps changin', and the world stays the same__  
__For all who came before, and it goes hand and hand__  
__Only you and I can undo all that we became__  
__That makes us so much more, than a woman and a man__  
__And after everything that comes and goes around__  
__Has only passed us by, here alone in our dreams__  
__I know there's a lonely heart in every lost and found__  
__But forever you and I will be the ones__  
__Who found out what forever means__  
_

I look over and see Don dancing with Casey. Even though there's quite an age difference, they are made for each other. She rests her head on his shoulder, like I am with Elliot. She looks over at me and winks. El kisses my head, and I turn my head to kiss his neck.

"I can't wait to get that dress off you." He whispers in my ear.

I moan into his neck, and feel his growing excitement press into me.

"Easy there, cowboy."

"Sorry, Liv. Can't help it. Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?"

"You did. Thank you. Love you, El."

"Love you too, Baby."

_  
__When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time__  
__Be faithful and true, devoted to you__  
__That's what I had in mind when I said I do___

_Truer than true, you know that I'll always be there for you__  
__That's what I had in mind, that's what I had in mind,__  
__When I said I do_

**Thanks for your reviews guys! **

**Songs:**

**When I said I do-Clint Black**

**Baby I'm Amazed By You- Tim McGraw (or Amazed, By LoneStar)**

**For my BFF Savannah (How can you not tell the difference? *high pitched* Daddy, *low pitched*Daddy.) Ha;**

**All you Draco Malfoy fans, check her out. At…… ilymalfoy**

**Thanks guys!**

**Ashley.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for your reviews! For all of you tweeters, Neal Baer posted a video clip of next week. Liv's lawyer is……….(message me for it. Don't want to spoil it for anyone)**

After quite a few drinks on both of our ends, we were ready to leave. Kathleen took the car back to her dad's, and El and I caught a cab.

"West 89th" El told the cabbie.

"I love you, El." I said, slurring my words. He leant over to kiss me, and I gladly accepted. I tugged at his tie, loosening it. I started unbuttoning his shirt, and he, now on top of me, slid his hands up my dress, cupping my butt, pulling me into him.

"Uh, ahem….sir? Ma'am? We're here." The cab driver called back. Elliot threw him a fifty, and helped me out of the cab. Our mouths barley left each other's as we made our way up to the apartment. He kicked the door shut behind us, locking it. He shrugged off his jacket and tie, still without breaking the kiss. He lifted me up onto his hips, and carried me to my bed and laid me down gently, as if I was fragile. I was so ready for him, his touch itself almost sent me over the edge.

I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. Drunk and frustrated, I resorted to ripping it off of him, sending buttons flying everywhere, neither of us even flinching. I ran my hands up and down his built torso, causing him to moan slightly in my mouth. He moved down, kissing and nipping at my neck, while I tried to get his pants off. I finally got the button, and he kicked them off.

"Your turn" He growled in my ear. He unzipped my dress, tossing it onto the floor. He un-clasped my bra, and tossed that also on the floor. He ran his hands down my chest, gently massaging my breasts. A slight groan escaped my lips, causing him to harden even more against my thigh.

"Baby….I….need…you….now!" I gasped in between kisses.

My underwear was off in an instant.

"You ready?" He groaned into my lips.

"For you? Always."

* * *

The sunlight came through the window, waking me. Before I opened my eyes, I thought about the previous night. I might have been drunk, but I could remember. A small smile crept on my lips and I opened my eyes, and saw the blue ones staring back.

"Good morning, Baby" El leaned down to kiss me.

"Good afternoon, Liv."

"Afternoon? What fucking time is it?" He only laughed.

"One, we were exhausted last night."

"Gee, I could imagine so, after that mind-blowing sex." I smiled. Mind-blowing wasn't good enough, but it's all I could think of.

"What'cha wanna do today?" El asked with a cheesy grin.

"How about a replay of last night?" God, that sounded so good.

"Detective, you have a deal." He rolled on top of me, and proceeded with the day's activities.

**Sorry it's so short. Didn't have much time, but wanted to get it up. **** reviewreviewreview**


	5. Chapter 5

**2 Months Later.**

"Benson."

"Hi Liv!"

"Hey! How's college??"

"Good, Dickie and I love it."

"That's great! Look sweetie, I'm a little busy, how about I call you later??"

"Okay, Love you."

"Love you too sweetheart, tell Dick I love him too!"

"Okay, bye."

Casey, Alex, and I were at lunch.

"So, spill, how's the sex?" Casey prodded. Of course, she's a lawyer.

"CASEY!"

"What? We want to know." Alex chimed in. These girls were going to drive me insane.

"Does mind-blowing, heart-pounding, mouth-watering, cover it?"

"Uh, yeah. I think so." Casey smiled.

"Good. Hey, I really need to get back to the 1-6. See you guys later."

"But Liv, you haven't touched your food." Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah, I'm not feeling really good…" Before I could finish my sentence, my stomach churned and I covered my mouth and made a run for the bathroom.

"What the fuck?" Casey grabbed Alex's arm and chased after me. I got to the stall just in time, and the girls walked in, Alex holding my hair out of my face.

"What was _that_ about?" Casey asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I think I might have a bug or something. It's been going on for about two weeks now. No biggie."

"Olivia, two weeks? Oh my god, when's the last time you we on your period?"

All of the color must have drained from my face because Alex placed a hand on my shoulder to make sure I didn't pass out.

"Oh shit. About two months, and we were drunk, it was the night after the NYPD dance."

Casey grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the bathroom, with Alex in pursuit. A million things were going through my head. Elliot was going to kill me. He already has four kids. Oh god. I can't raise a child. I don't have anyone to look up to. Fuck. What do I do now?

We walk into the drug store and head straight to the back. Casey studies the pregnancy tests before her, deciding on the most expensive, and she grabs three.

"Casey, I can't afford that."

"No one said you had too. " She just smiled. Damn her for having money. Not that I was _poor_, I just wouldn't have gotten the most expensive.

We pull up to Alex's apartment, which is far nicer than mine, and we all take off our shoes. They follow me to the bathroom and shut the door behind us.

"I don't need an audience." I just smile. They are more anxious than I am. Maybe a baby won't be so bad.

I take all three tests, and we walk out of the bathroom. Those three minutes dragged on forever, none of us saying anything.

"You go, I can't look." I tell Alex and Casey.

They practically run to the bathroom.

I sit there for what seems like an eternity. So many questions running through my mind. I know I am not ready to be a mother. What is Elliot going to say? I know I love Elliot with all of my heart, and I know he loves me, but a baby? A baby will change everything. What's Cragen going to say? He will have my badge so fast. If he doesn't take my badge hill put me on ass duty, neither of which I want. Shit what about the other kids? And Kathy? This will add fuel to the fire. The ink is barely dry on the divorce papers, and I'm already pregnant? God, what the fuck is taking them so long? It feels like I have been sitting here for a year. I hear a gasp from the bathroom. This cannot be good....

"Liv," Alex calls in a shaky voice, "Congratulations."

The walls started spinning, I could faintly hear Casey calling for help, everything went black,

I hit the deck.


	6. Chapter 6

**Attention, Selling SVU Characters. Going once, Going twice, SOLD! To the man in the back, Oh, wait, that's Dick Wolf. Damn, he STILL owns them…..**

I hear noises. Where the hell am I? And what is that god awful beeping noise, someone shut it off, I have enough of a headache. Wait a minute, why won't my eyes open? I can't move, what the fuck? Elliot. Where's Elliot. I hear his voice, he's talking. To me. What's he saying?

"Liv, baby, wake up." He is crying. Elliot Stabler is crying. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I talk.

I'm pregnant. Oh, Shit, I'm pregnant. I remember now. We were at Casey's, no we were at Alex's apartment. I'm pregnant. Oh my god, does Elliot know? Is my baby okay? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I TALK?

His warm hand grabs mine. His sheer touch sends tingles up my spine. I feel him squeeze my hand; I need him to know I'm listening. I use everything in me to squeeze back.

"Oh my god, Olivia, please baby, do it again. Come on, please? DOCTOR! SHE'S AWAKE, Come on baby," Elliot is calling to me, I still can't speak. Ow, it's very white in here. Turn off the goddamn lights. I open my mouth to speak, nothing comes out.

"Livvy, come on babe, say something. I love you." I can see now. His cheeks are stained with tears. I did that to him. I made him cry. Why. Why did I do that to him? It comes back to me now. I fainted. But all I did was faint, why am I in a hospital?

"El?" I ask him, surprised at my own voice. My throat is scratchy, but that one little word does it for him. He breaks down. Only I know this one little secret about Detective Stabler, rough, tough, big, bad, Stabler. He's a softy.

"Don't cry." I muster out two more words. My throat hurts,

"Water?" the nurse brings me a cup of water.

"Liv, baby. Oh my god I love you."

"I love you too, but why am I in here?" My voice is still hoarse.

"Honey, you, you lost the baby. I'm so sorry." He bites his lip. He's fighting back more waterworks.

"But, how, I, all I did was faint?" I lost the baby. I lost the baby. Those words replay in my head like a broken fucking record.

"Baby, you were bleeding internally. They don't know why, but they think you might have ruptured something while dry-heaving. I'm so sorry."

Now, we are both in tears. This cannot be happening. I lost my motherfucking baby.

* * *

2 Weeks Later

"Who's catching?" Cragen yelled from his office door. Fin and Munch took it.

Elliot and I haven't said more than two words to each other since the baby, and I can tell it is eating away at him.

"Liv, I really don't want you to go on the stake-out. It's dangerous."

"Elliot, first, my name is Olivia, second, every part of this fucking job is dangerous. I come to work every single day with the chance of getting shot. So, don't tell me what you think I should and shouldn't do. It's not worth it, because to be honest, I'm not going to fucking listen, so get the hell off your high horse, and stop telling me what is good for me."

"Olivia, just because YOU lost the baby, doesn't mean you get to take it out on me."

Oh, he just broke through the thin ice he was skating on.

"I lost the baby? Really, so now it's MY fault? Fuck you, you son of a bitch." I grabbed my jacket and ran out into the pouring rain.

I should have know the bastard was going to come after me. Of course he was. That's what he did.

I hear him calling my name but I'll be damned if I stop for him. But he can run faster. He grabs my arm and throws me against the brick wall of the 1-6.

"Get your hands off of me. NOW" I'm beyond pissed. Who the fuck does he think he is? Elliot. He's Elliot. MY Elliot.

"Not until you fucking listen to me," I give in, let's hear what the bastard has to preach now, "First, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for blaming you, I'm sorry for not being there, I'm fucking sorry. Okay? I fucked up. And I love you. I love you more than life itself, I love you with all of my heart. I know that these last few months have been pretty screwed. Can we start over? Try again? Please baby? Give me a chance. I know I can make you happy."

"Yeah?" I love him. I love him, I love him.

"Yeah."

He pulls me in, our soaking wet bodies meet, sucking every last ounce of heat out of each other. I can taste the salty-ness of our tears on his lips. Everything about this kiss is perfect. He licks my bottom lip, and I part them slightly, but enough for him to gently push his tongue through. He's gentle, and patient. He tastes like the Lifesavers mints he keeps on his desk. He moans into my mouth as I pull his lower lip in-between mine, and he tangles his fingers in my now soaked hair.

And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now

He pulls away, and I whine in protest. Here we are, up against the prescient, in the middle of Manhattan, people passing us on the sidewalk, and we don't have a care in the world. His hands are in my hair, mine holding his back, and he leans back in, and I sigh in relief. This is the best feeling. I don't care that it is pouring ice cold rain, this kiss is all the heat I need to survive.

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

" I love you," He whispers those three simple words into my lips, and I melt. I feel as if we are in the center of the world, life spinning around us.

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

"Baby, I love you, too."

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

"I'm so sorry."

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

"I love you, and I need you, I need this to work. Let's start over. Let's just be us again."

"You've got a deal." He said with a warm smile. A smile that makes my heart flutter.

**I don't want the world to see me****  
****Cause I don't think that they'd understand****  
****When everything's made to be broken****  
****I just want you to know who I am**

We walked, arm in arm, back inside, back into a new start, back to where we began, and now I'm back, back to Elliot, Elliot, my everything.

The end. I'll write a sequel if you ask nicely.


End file.
